Look, I love a good creep session. In fact, I think I'm one of the top social media creepers ever (challenge me!!).  But I'm also aware as to how social media can suck you into a deep, dark hole.  Connections are great but are they real connections? 

My high school reunion was in August 2016 and I was genuinely excited to go.  I was one of those nerds who was shouting at my high school graduation that I wouldn't miss my Ten Year Reunion for the world.  So there I was, excited to reconnect and even connect with my fellow classmates of 2006.  Many of them I liked posts of and commented well-wishes on social media posts so I figured maybe this was an opening.

Spoiler: It wasn't.

Instead, I stood at the food table and talked with the same people I still hung out with.  Even though we were all sharing our big life moments on our personal pages that we all granted each other access to (by accepting friend requests and following one another's Twitter feeds), no one really mingled outside of their already established groups. 

It was weird.  Why are you liking a post from my brother's wedding if we don't speak in real life?  Why am I wishing you congratulations on buying your first home if we can't even wave a friendly hello?

Social media has it's issues, but these are some of it's biggest.

1. Oversharing
I remember Facebook back in the day when your status was like "Jen is..." and then you were left to fill in just what you were doing.  Overtime, they removed that and users were allowed to not only detail what you were doing but how you felt about what you were doing.  If you put it out on social media, you leave yourself open to criticism and judgments based on a bad moment you were having. 

2. Comparing yourself to others
This isn't new, but whether your Instagram is your actual one or one you use for business, it's really difficult to not beat yourself up based on what other's are posting.  At least 5 times a week on my Poshmark IG, someone posts about how they are stepping away from social media because it's messing with their perception of their own achievements.  Remember, people don't post the bad stuff (except maybe the oversharers).

3. Time Waster
Ever check your Instagram feed for notifications and look up two hours later realizing how much time had gone by?  Guilty.  We get so absorbed in pictures, Pinterest recipes and DIY's, and funny videos that we lose all track of mind.  Social media is the procrastinator's best friend - and worst enemy.

4. Missing out on moments
You're in a nice restaurant and you run out of things to chat about with your SO/friend/mom.  Instead of glancing at the menu, soaking in the general overall aesthetic or reveling in the sound of silence, you bury your face into your phone.  Glance up at any public social place (bar, coffee shop, train ride, bus ride, park, etc.) and you'll notice everyone is on their phones.  What are we missing out on around us if our eyes are captured by a tiny screen?

5. Deriving too much of our self worth from likes
You are lying if you shake your head on this one and say, "Not me!"  Who hasn't logged on to Facebook to check their latest post and smiled to see how many people liked that photo of your dog in the past hour?  Lean in close because I have a secret to tell you...it's not real.  None of it.  How many likes or friends or followers you have doesn't define whether you are a good person or a garbage person.  Just because 3 out of your 452 followers liked your post, doesn't mean you're not worthy.  It just means people weren't on or your post wasn't interesting or maybe they have no souls and don't like cats.  Either way, a like isn't a reflection on who you are as a person.

So maybe challenge yourself in the next week to really separate yourself from social media and simply socialize IRL!

A year and a half ago, I created this list of Ten Things About Me. Since the relaunch of my blog, I figured I'd create a new list of *20* Random Facts About Me to reintroduce myself!

1. I don't drink alcohol.  
Yes, seriously, I don't drink.  I've only sipped alcohol before (it taste awful, guys!), and my first sip was at the age of 23 with a bunch of strangers in a bar in California.

2. I lived with my grandpa for three years.
It was awesome.  And he had some amazing one liners / interesting observations on life. (Life With Grandpa, Life With Grandpa: Food Obsessions, and Life with Grandpa: Ranting).  If I could drag his but down to Pittsburgh, I would and move in with him all over again.  He was my favorite roommate.

3. I previously worked for a taxi company that shuttled people from a train to the popular New York destinate, Fire Island.  
Bobby Cannavale once grew frustrated with because I couldn't locate his black bag under a pile of other black bags.  When I asked for more details he simply said, "It's black."  Celebrities, they're just like us!

4. I told my cousin her father died.
I didn't know that she didn't know yet.  She's weirdly related to me in more than one way (she's actually my second cousin and then something else more complicated but that's not the point), and only a few blocks away at the time so the gossip train moved fast.  I covered quickly but she texted me an hour later saying, "I know now."  Oops.

5. In my last two relationships, I broke up with my boyfriends by moving away.
Definitely a sign of my immaturity.  When people make these types of lists, they only want to portray the good.  These were not my proudest moments.  After the second one, I learned a lot about myself and my need to constantly restart instead of dealing with my issues.  A fresh start doesn't mean you've necessarily grown.

6. I love The Golden Girls.
I don't "stan" things, I think I might be too old for that, but I loooove The Golden Girls.  TVLand has a marathon every Sunday.

7. Nothing makes me fall asleep faster than watching an episode of Portlandia.
I cannot explain it - and I have an issue sleeping but if I put on an episode, I'm out in minutes.  If you're having trouble sleeping, try it out, I swear.

8. I'm going to be a first time aunt in September.
I'm hoping for a girl, I'm not going to lie, but I'll love the baby even if it's a boy, I guess.  I sort of have to, don't I?

9. I wanted to be President when I was little.
A real concern for me in the third grade was the rumor that Hillary Clinton would run for office one day and take away the honor of the first female president.  After taking a law class in high school, that dream was promptly stripped away by the reality of the office and the climb there.  As an adult, I can't wait to cheer on our first female Commander-in-Chief!

10. I am a feminist.
I am for supporting women. I am for supporting men.  I am for equality.  A key point for me in becoming a feminist was learning the difference between feminism and misandry.  TL;DR? = Misandrists hate men, not feminists.

11. My first concert was N*SYNC.
JC CHASEZ 4EVA,  FORGET JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE.

12. I loved baseball so much, I became the baseball team's Trainer in high school.
I also liked baseball players - this was a win-win volunteer role for me.

13. I am working on visiting all 50 States.
I document my travels here on this blog.  If you have any suggestions of places to visit in states I haven't travelled to, shoot them my way!!

14. My full-time job is as a Grants Administrator.
Which means, I basically boss a bunch of distinguished faculty members around and make sure they do the right thing and not mess up their funding.  I love it.  There is so much amazing research being done on my floor every day! I previously worked in Alumni Relations and on Rhodes / Marshall / Fulbright Scholarship offices (at another university) and as an Administrator in a logistics company.  A recurring theme in my life is I don't know what I'm going to do when I grow up.

15. I have a lifesize cardboard cutout of Derek Jeter that stood in my bedroom for 15 years.
My parents are now moving and a big discussion is what are we going to do with Derek?  Oh, and yes, I clearly thought if I was going to get married one day, it would be to Derek Jeter.

16. I no longer watch TV shows that I can't binge-watch.
How I Met Your Mother's ending destroyed me.  I watched that show from the very beginning and I felt completely cheated with that warped ending.  I'd rather binge-watch a show when it's over or watch an entire season at once.  Ted Mosby, you broke me!!!!

17. The only exception is Vanderpump Rules.
Truly, I am ashamed and not proud, but I can hardly wait for Monday to roll around and dole out another episode packed with nonsense.  This is reality TV though, so does it count.

18. I named my cat Charlie after Charlie from The Perks of Being A Wallflower.
I'm mildly obsessed with the book, movie, and the creation of these two masterpieces since I first encountered the book ten years ago and it became intertwined with my life.

19. I've been published twice.
The first time was a short story about a girl who wanted to smell a dandelion but her mother told her not.  Spoiler Alert: She sniffed it.

20. I don't really ever want to grow up.
And I mean it - kids, marriage.  I don't think I really want all of that.  I love kids and I love weddings and love.  But I don't know if the type of adulting is ever in my future.  As a child with my American Girl Dolls, I always pretended I was their aunt because my twin sister (named Alyssa) tragically passed away and I took the kids in.  My boyfriend, Kevin Richardson of the Backstreet Boys, was constantly on tour so I worked full time as an author and raised the kids.  This is kind of who I've always been.

As a former teenager, I've lived it!  I've lived through the agonizing prom dress shopping, the fights with friends, the frustration at not hearing back from a crush.  Now that I'm leaving my twenties behind, I think I'd like to toss some unsolicited advice out there to all you youngins.

I was really laid-back as a teenager.  I didn't get in trouble.  I kept to the rules. And I had a blast.  Were there things I wish I knew about the future?  Or do I wish there were moments I could go back and change the outcome?  Abso-friggin-lutely.  But that's not the point of your teenage years.  The point is to start a foundation were you can grow and thrive.  High school is not the "Best Four Years of Your Life", but they will certainly rank up there in the top greatest of your life.


Don't be afraid to watch. There's a lot you can learn from the sidelines.

Don't be afraid to jump in. There's a lot you can learn from experience.

Enjoy the drama, but just enough that it doesn't bring you down.

Use fun slang words because soon it'll be weird to hear the latest "cool" terms coming out of your mouth (and by soon, I mean super soon).

Surround yourself with a variety of people.  These people are going to grow (or not grow at all) in the next few years.

Time spent with friends is better than spent with a romantic interest whose face you won't be able to place in five years.

If your parents love you, you are so lucky and blessed.  Not everyone's parents care about them the way yours do.  Remember that when they're annoying you.  

Date who you like; but don't date someone because of their perceived social value.  Strip that currency away and make sure you like the person underneath.

A lot of the things that bother you are silly and stupid, even if you don't think they are silly and stupid.  Get upset about them, learn to handle it; there are far more difficult things on the horizon.  Be grateful for these tiny stupid things that blow up your world.

If something is truly stupid, don't do it.  Imagine a version of yourself at 28.  If they are shaking your head at you, it's stupid.

Don't try to be cool - try to be kind, try to be remembered as the person who strove to help other people.  Also, you will be surprised how fast the cool kids fall after high school. I mean it, it's creepy.

It all gets better.  Seriously.

During my brief (and failed) attempt at a Self-Love Challenge back in 2016, I created my "Love Me" playlist on Spotify.  Since, then there's been new music to enter my life and move me - so here's a quick update and a passionate argument defending each song. This is the weirdest collection of songs, possibly ever, and I am fiercely proud of that.

Come On Eileen by Dexys Midnight Runners
This song will never not be on my list.  It is the ultimate song. If you see me on the dance floor when this tune comes on...run.

Heroes by David Bowie
Again, another one that survived the revision of this playlist.  I used to drive home from work on the Long Island Expressway listening to this song and I can still see the road unwinding in front of me.

Lost Stars by Adam Levine
I loved the movie Begin Again.  Every song from that album is gold, but this song is such a beautiful ending to a relationship that isn't failing due to lack of love.  It's something that many people are simply not brave enough to admit to.

Reflecting Light by Sam Phillips
Like most of the world, I was introduced to this song by Gilmore Girls (many thanks Lorelai & Rory!).  I love the music in this song.  The lyrics are fabulous as well, but even without the words, the music is completely tugging on my heart strings.

True To Your Heart by 98° and Stevie Wonder
Honestly, I wash my dishes to this song.  I just put it on repeat and I actually enjoy washing the dishes.  I hate washing dishes, so this is a HUGE deal.  If I'm in a bad mood, I also put this on to instantly lift my spirits.

My Blue Heaven by Taking Back Sunday
The emo kid in us never dies.  Driving around, banging the steering wheel, screaming on the top of my lungs -- this is the song that lets me vent all of my frustrations.

You're In Love With A Psycho by Kasabian
Another song that I can't sit still to while listening.  I feel like this song was written for me to sing to every boyfriend I've ever had.  #Truth.

Sex by The 1975
I'm only recently discovering The 1975, but I love their vibe.

Space Cowboy by Kacey Musgraves
I'm obsessed with her latest album, Golden Hour.  Kacey's my age, so her album, built around her 29th year really hit home.  I love this song about letting someone go, in a weary battle-worn way.

#1 Summer Jam by Butch Walker
I feel summer in this jam.  Butch Walker's a legend, anyway.

The Suffering by Coheed and Cambria
I do not understand this song.  If you do, clue me in.  But I lovelovelovelovelove it.

Green Light by Lorde
In this age of social media, who could not identify with the girl Lord's singing about who's doing her best to show off in front of her ex?  Surviving after a failed relationship is no easy task but it's definitely relatable.

Father And Son by Yusuf / Cat Stevens
Admitting that the first time I heard this song was in Guardians of the Galaxy Volume 2 feels sort of embarrassing, but it's also the song I gravitated to the morning after my Grandpa died.  My father and I are also constantly in conflict over political issues, what to eat for dinner, or what colors are in this season so this song really resonates with me.

Sexy Dirty Love by Demi Lovato
I watched Demi's YouTube documentary and I've been obsessed/in love with her ever since.  This is such a great bop.

L.G. FUAD by Motion City Soundtrack
If I sang karaoke and this song was a more well-known one, I would crank it out all. the. time.  I like to sing this one on long drives over and over and over.  It's so simple, so complex - it gives me the feels.

Getaway Car by Taylor Swift
Songs about doomed relationships attract my shallow emo heart like moths to a flame.  There is nothing like a good rebound song.

What songs move you, make you feel things?  My personal philosophy (*ahem*) is that if doesn't move you, it ain't the music for you.  I like music that reminds me of my past, makes me ponder the future, or has me imagining a completely different world. Life is short, so...be moved.

In May 2016, my younger brother married the love of his life, his perfect partner.  And I was not jealous because he got married first.

Shocking.

No, not really.  But you would have thought so based on the amount of times I was asked if I was okay with it.

My brother was tough.  As a kid, he suffered from separation anxiety and just getting him onto a school bus was a daily test of strength on my mother's part.  I love him, but holy crap he was a handful.

Thing continued like that for my brother after high school, until he started dating my sister-in-law at the ripe old age of 20 years old.  She brought out this strength and bravery in him that I'd never witnessed in him before.  While many of his issues about going to school and facing a classroom didn't fade away entirely, she helped him find new avenues to pursue and succeed in.  The moment I knew this relationship between them was the real deal was in the fall of 2013. They surprised me for my 25th birthday and we decided to take the two of them into the city for their first Manhattan trip.  There was my brother strolling through Times Square, no look of anxiety or fear on his face.  When I asked him about it later on, he said, "I was worried about making sure she didn't get lost, I didn't have time to think about how me."

My sister-in-law is the soulmate, destined partner for my brother (and I don't even believe in that stuff).  So when they got engaged, I was elated.  When they decided on a two year engagement, I thought "here we go."

Two years for strangers and family on the fringe to ask "how are you doing with all of this?" and "Maybe there will be someone for you at the wedding!"  What. Why.

100% of these frowning faced individuals were women.  My brother never left our hometown.  Meanwhile, I lived in New York, bounced around, traveled a tad within the United States.  I graduated college, had a steady job.  My life was far from perfect and I wasn't totally happy with every choice I made, but I was living my life based on the my choices.  That felt like total freedom and something to be celebrated.  These women, ranging in age from girls much younger to me to elderly women, couldn't help but to express their sympathies on my brother's impending nuptials.

So, really, ladies, what's up?  Why are we defining another woman's happiness based on whether her ring finger is barren?  Based on whether or not she has to watch a younger sibling race to the altar before she does?  Why are we still defining a woman's life journey on her relationship status?

My brother teared up as my sister-in-law walked down the aisle and truly the entire church broke down as well.  Two years later, we're expecting my little niece or nephew in September and I couldn't be more ecstatic. While it's hard to believe, happiness isn't just defined by what's happening to you, but can also include the amazing things happening to the ones you love.

Six months from now will be my last birthday month in my twenties.  I am six months away from the most adult birthday of them all - 30.

Growing up, and even on this very day, thirty feels like such a long far away thing that will never happen to me.  Thirty was this number looming over every single woman, something to dread and attempt to banish with every facial cream known to humankind.

You know what though? I'm sort of ready to turn thirty.

I didn't love my twenties.  I went out, I had some adventures, but certainly not enough.  I toed the line and sort of rebelled a little too hard against the idea of growing up.  I made a ton of immature mistakes. I also felt so incredibly lost -- and the not the kind of lost that leads to some sort of self-awakening, but truly without guide and alone.

By the time my twenty-ninth birthday rolled around, I was sort of bummed out.  I entered my twenties with a pretty rad party.  Every other birthday after sort of petered out and lost that lackluster excitement of starting my twenties.


As mentioned before, in November of 2017 I finally saddled up and purchased You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life.  It completely changed my thinking.  My achievements were no longer limited to what I did in my twenties and how I set myself up for future success.  I could build on this very moment and be proud instead of lamenting all of my time spent meandering.  I am exactly where I am meant to be.

To celebrate the six month countdown to the end of my twenties, I'll be posting every day this month.  Hope you enjoy the ride and would love to hear any insights you've gained as you traversed into your thirties!

And also, Happy Easter!