Changes: Turning & Facing the Strange

Thursday, May 9, 2019

At the same moment the keys to my new apartment were placed in my hand, he landed in Puerto Rico on a flight I was originally intended to be on with him.  Instead, here I was thousands of miles away from those sandy beaches, nervously finding my way to my new door, placing the key in the lock, and ushering in the start of my new life.

The topic of change is polarizing.  Can people truly change? How can they not? And what exactly does it take to change, if at all possible?

What we could most certainly agree is that life changes are inevitable and they are rarely the type we're prepared for.  I wasn't prepared to uproot and restart my life over three months ago.  I couldn't imagine finding a new place to live, new goals to set, and a new future that no longer included the partner I was certain would be there.

I've been through so much worse before, but this plot twist threw me under.  I focused in on the death of my old life. I screamed and I cried and I begged the universe to put things back into place.  But that's not how it works.  What the universe did in response to my ravings was to grab me by the cheeks like a frustrated mother and turn my head to what had always been in my life: amazing friends, supportive family, and passions I stifled for far too long.

My life looks so different than it did at the start of 2019.  I once thought I was too introverted to spend so much of my energy on social interaction, but here I am meeting up with friends I usually saw once every few months multiple times a week.  I'm writing again.  I'm dancing while I clean.  I enjoy cooking meals, something that nearly drove me to tears months ago. I'm reading with intention instead of attempting to escape. I'm a PODCASTER!! I'm conversing with strangers on the street in polite conversation.

When I woke up this morning, I stared at the ceiling and thought with excitement all of the things I wanted to accomplish today.  Then, it hit me - I was excited to get out of bed. I can't believe I'm so fortunate enough to find myself here.  Happy with the ordinary.

I didn't want this change to happen.  I wanted my life to follow a certain trajectory.  It's not, though.  It's following something so much more beautiful, as long as I am willing to embrace it and all of the other unexpected changes certain to follow.

1 comment

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