Ten Things NOT On My Bucket List

Tuesday, May 24, 2016

I'm genuinely inspired when I see other people's Bucket Lists.  For some reason though, when it comes to jotting down what I possibly-maybe-truly-really, really want to do, I draw blanks.  It's always been far easier for me to identify what I don't want to do.  I know I should create a Bucket List and start setting goals, but until then here's my Anti-Bucket List.

1. Skydiving.  Because, GRAVITY.

2. Run a marathon.  It's awesome if you can do this, but I've never been drawn to complete this task.  Or a half-marathon.  I'd like to be able to run one day, like a mile or two.  Okay, maybe a 5K.  A marathon's off the table though.

3. Get married.  It bothers me when I see this one on Bucket Lists.  I don't think marriage is something to be checked off of a list.  Que sera, sera people.  Marriage shouldn't be a life goal but an opportunity to share your life goals with someone.

4. Attend a nudist event/be nude anywhere.  Clothes are cute (and expensive) so I prefer to wear them all the time.  Plus, I'm always cold so they are vital.  Kudos to you if you can let it all hang.

5. Stay up for 24 hours straight.  I love sleep.  It's sort of awesome and is required to live.  So unless it's for a charity event of some sort, count me out!

6. Watch the ball drop on New Year's Eve in Times Square.  Times Square on New Year's Eve is the most jam-packed fiercely cold shoving match any human being can take part in.  McDonald's will charge you to pee, other places will turn you away unless you're a patron paying jacked up prices, and the multiple sound systems from different channels broadcasting their New Year's Eve shows will make your brain explode.  You have to get there ridiculously early to even stand somewhere decent.  My couch on New Year's is THE premier place to in comparison to Times Square.

7. Cliff Jump.  I can't jump in my pool.  Seriously.  It takes me an hour at the beginning of each summer just to build the courage to jump into my pool holding my nose, squeezing my eyes shut, and praying the rosary.  I'm not kidding; this is real life.

8. Go Camping.  I've seen too many Lifetime movies and watched far too many episodes of Unsolved Mysteries and it seems like everyone dies/goes missing on camping trips. I'm scarred.

9. Attend a Red Sox baseball game. NO NEVER!  Isn't it enough that I visited Boston?!?!

10. Milk a cow. I enjoy a glass of milk.  I'm okay leaving this one up to the experts.

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