An Apology Letter to My Mom

Tuesday, February 23, 2016

Dear Mom,

I am a shithead who doesn't appreciate you a tenth of what you deserve.

For example, right now you're hauling ass up the stairs with a laundry basket full of damp clothes.  You need to hang these clothes so you can go back downstairs and yell at your husband to pack for his vacation with his buddies in Arizona.  He won't pack until the last minute and you'll probably be the one doing it for him.  I could help you with the laundry, but obviously I'm lying on my bed typing away at my computer with Charlie curled up at my feet.  When you walk by, I'll probably shout out to you and shove it in your face that she's with me.  Earlier today, you ran to Giant Eagle and stocked up on sale items to deliver to your son who broke your heart when he moved out because he's getting married (pointing it out that he was the traitor first and and abandoned you...I'm still hereeee).

Laura Gladys, I would be utterly lost and broken without you.  You're the shoulder I cry on, the one I vent my crazy to, and the one person in my life I take advantage of the most.  I never listen to your advice, but I seek it relentlessly.  You never tell me I told you so.  You never judge me when I do the things I swear I'd never do.  I don't know why you haven't given up on being my mother.

I swear and yell and scream and pout.  I'll tell you I'll do it later.  I won't.  I'm in my late twenties and I'm still bugging you to hem my pants, pick up cotton balls on your way home, and listen to me whine about how unfair my day was because traffic was ten minutes longer than usual after you spent the afternoon with your mother who doesn't remember your name.

You don't vacation with your girlfriends.  You don't have someone who grocery shops for you.  No one's hanging your laundry up to dry.

My biggest fear in life is that I will never be capable of showing you how much I love you.  I already know I will never be the World's Greatest Mother, because you already are.

Your Horribly Unappreciative Daughter

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